aka酱

老蒋的白日梦:

很喜欢的一首博尔赫斯的诗。





我用什么才能留住你



我给你瘦落的街道、绝望的落日、荒郊的月亮。 

我给你一个久久地望着孤月的人的悲哀。 

我给你我已死去的祖辈,后人们用大理石祭奠的先魂:我父亲的父亲,阵亡于布宜诺斯艾利斯的边境,两颗子弹射穿了他的胸膛,死的时候蓄着胡子,尸体被士兵们用牛皮裹起;我母亲的祖父——那年才二十四岁——在秘鲁率领三百人冲锋,如今都成了消失的马背上的亡魂。 




我给你我的书中所能蕴含的一切悟力,以及我生活中所能有的男子气概和幽默。 

我给你一个从未有过信仰的人的忠诚。 

我给你我设法保全的我自己的核心——不营字造句,不和梦交易,不被时间、欢乐和逆境触动的核心。 

我给你早在你出生前多年的一个傍晚看到的一朵黄玫瑰的记忆。 

我给你关于你生命的诠释,关于你自己的理论,你的真实而惊人的存在。 

我给你我的寂寞、我的黑暗、我心的饥渴;我试图用困惑、危险、失败来打动你。





What can I hold you with? 

I offer you lean streets, desperate sunsets, the moon of the jagged suburbs. 
I offer you the bitterness of a man who has looked long and long at the lonely moon. 
I offer you my ancestors, my dead men, the ghosts that living men have honoured in marble: my father's father killed in the frontier of Buenos Aires, two bullets through his lungs, bearded and dead, wrapped by his soldiers in the hide of a cow; my mother's grandfather -just twentyfour- heading a charge of three hundred men in Perú, now ghosts on vanished horses. 
I offer you whatever insight my books may hold. whatever manliness or humour my life. 
I offer you the loyalty of a man who has never been loyal. 
I offer you that kernel of myself that I have saved somehow -the central heart that deals not in words, traffics not with dreams and is untouched by time, by joy, by adversities. 
I offer you the memory of a yellow rose seen at sunset, years before you were born. 
I offer you explanationsof yourself, theories about yourself, authentic and surprising news of yourself. 
I can give you my loneliness, my darkness, the hunger of my heart; I am trying to bribe you with uncertainty, with danger, with defeat.




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